Stages of Loss

When I hadn't completely lost my job a few weeks ago, I mentally lost it. I still worked at my job, just in a different seat with different responsibilities. I reported to someone new and I worked for the same hours. Why do I feel like crap?

I did what everyone told me to do, get a job through someone you know! But every work environment is different. Changes in the workplace happen all the time. So when I was asked to move into a different department, I wasn't happy about. I went through a lot of different emotions. It was plain to see. I went through those stages of loss and thought about my high school and college psychology classes. I really did go through the Stages of Loss. Even though the stages of loss are usually referring to death, I definitely could relate.

1. Denial: I kept asking my supervisor questions about assignments I no longer had. I was asked how I felt about the new opportunity and I looked confused. I didn't want to believe it! I was just getting the hang of everything. It has only been 6 months for heaven sakes!! 

2. Anger: no surprise that I became angry when it started to hit me that I wasn't needed for the typical responsibilities. My routine was being completely shut off. My normal responsibilities were put on complete hold. I am very driven so it was tough for me to hold.

So when life giver you lemons you make lemonade. When your supervisor gives you no work, you apply for a new job. 

3. Bargaining:  I was convincing myself that I should have done something different, maybe this or that. They made their decision. I was done.

4. Depression: I could feel my time at my job slowly disintegrating. Now I'm just sad and unhappy. I'm depressed because I felt my job being swept from under me and I had nothing to hold on to.

5. Acceptance: Business is business. Yes it definitely helped that I was able to achieve this job opportunity through someone I know but they still are a business and when things aren't working out anymore, changes need to be made. I've accepted the fact that I need a new kind of job opportunity.


I had restless and upset nights, total mental breakdowns. But I knew there was something out there for me. Never give up!! Thanks to so many family and friends I called and talked to, I was able to start again. So I went through the stages of loss and I am back on my toes looking like crazy for a new job. I have found even more platforms where companies list open opportunities. It was a good thing and I am happy to be looking again for a job that will be in the Big Apple!!!

Until next time! (which will be soon since I want to talk about the platforms I am using to apply for jobs!)

xoxo
OneSmartLady

LOve-HaTe Relationship -applying for jobs

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Job Seekers,

Applying for jobs, it's a love hate relationship. It takes a long time to apply for jobs but the more you apply for, the more chances of landing a job. Applying for jobs is a job in itself. But there are so many resources. I just stumbled upon LinkedIn's Job Search App for your phone. So while you're on the bus, waiting at the doctor's office, or hanging out bored, you can save/ apply for jobs right from your phone. That is impressive. I literally saved around 15 jobs on the app. When I go home and sign in to my LinkedIn account, those jobs are all saved for me to apply. That's the hard part though, the part of actually going home and taking the time to apply for those jobs is the hate part. I hate actually clicking "submit". That is literally the hardest part. Cool I have a resume. Great I created a custom cover letter for this specific company. Submit?? What if I forgot something?! What if there's a typo!? I am so tired of looking at my resume. It is constantly changing. Is this cover letter custom enough?? Will they even read it?? There are so many ways to say how well I can work on the computer, or that I am self motivated. How many times do I have to just say that I have a college education and I need a source of income people! Hire me and see for yourself!! ---Oh wait, there's me plus the 10,000 hundred million other kids who have also graduated and are looking for jobs. Greaaaaat.

Now that I am a year out of school, I can move my education from the top of my resume to the bottom. Love-hate relationship. So, cool I'm moving up in the world! But weird now I have experience. I can apply for Associate jobs! I'm no longer entry-level? When I see links to "For College Graduates", that doesn't apply to me anymore? Nope! I am a well-rounded, out-going young lady with experience (some), ready to learn and jump into my career! I have two jobs working 7 days a week constantly keeping my brain wired. Bring it on experience! I am ready to jump in for more.


xoxoxo

OneSmartLady

It's Not What You Know, It's WHO you know...Right?

It's not WHAT you know, it's WHO you know...Right?

Not completely. You still have to know the information and how to work  your position no matter how many connections you have. I have a friend who works at Sony. Her dad is in the movie production business. So, it wasn't too surprising to hear she acquired an internship there while she was still attending college. After graduating college, the next step of course was finding a job. Everyone, including herself, was pretty sure she'd be given a permanent position. A few months after graduation, I met up with her and she wasn't working at Sony. She was working at her local gym. She applied to Sony even though they didn't have an opening and many other companies in that field. She wanted the job not BECAUSE her dad knew people, but because she also loved marketing and public relations in that field of work. Sony had told her that once one of the assistants left or was promoted, she would be given the opportunity for applying to that job. When she graduated though, the same women was still working there in that position. So it was still unavailable which is why she was working at her local gym. After a few months and job applications later, she finally heard from them and they had the opening and hired her. She had to work hard and intern first to gain the connections for herself. Having her dad wasn't enough and she knew it (but it definitely helped!). Now she can and will do what she loves thanks to her hard work as an intern, graduating school AND having her dad as a reference.

At the publishing company I was working for when I first acquired a NYC job, which is not where I work anymore HENCE the reason for my lack of blogging, I didn't know a soul. It was pure hard work and ambition to achieve that position. The agreement at that company was temp-to-perm for my position after 4-5 months. Six months rolled around and I was antsy. I needed/ wanted benefits, insurance and sick days. So I went back to job hunting for other opportunities to potentially approach my boss with offers so that they would want to give me a permanent position. I didn't have to look far though because one phone call to my uncle updating him about my life and little frustrations at work and he called a very old friend who was still looking for someone to fill an open seat at their company. Finally a job that wanted me and would provide me with benefits and a salary! The only downside: it's not located in the city, it's located in Long Island. Long Island?! Why would I go there? I moved to Queens to have a quick and easy commute to the city. New York City was and is my DREAM!! I accomplished my dream and I have been back in the North East for almost an entire year. It has been amazing. Walking in the hussle and bussle of the city sidewalks, riding the subway and seeing the sun shining on all the tall buildings every morning. I grew to love it. My dad says, "You're a cosmopolitan girl! You like the city!".

So, as this new "cosmopolitan girl", was I ready to trade it all for the Long Island life? Will I need my  a car? Will I be able to afford it?! I just gave my brother my car a few months ago! I can still use public transportation right?! (Looking at Googlemaps for directions by public transportation) I have to take the 7 TRAIN to the Woodside Long Island RAILROAD to Hicksville and then take a BUS to the office. THREE types of public transportation. Was I crazy or something!?! I guess so because I took the job.

---> ---->

My new commute is not as bad as I thought it would be. The worst part is just waiting for the bus but sometimes I don't even have to wait for the bus because my supervisor sometimes picks me up from the station which is soo generous.


Hopefully I will get back to updating the other aspects of my life soon but I am working A LOT!! So to everyone graduating this year: CONGRATS!! and good luck out there!! Hope some of my experiences will help others moving to a new city looking for a job!!!


xoxox
Onesmartlady

Still Job Hunting? Kinda

Even though I am working, as I mentioned in my previous blog, I still have my eyes peeled on potential open positions and sources of income. I am looking at some job openings listed on LinkedIn , Mediabistro and New York times Jobs, and notice many different key things to avoid especially now that I have obtained a job and I am not looking desperately like last year. When I didn't have a job, I was looking for anything that had marketing and NYC in the job description. Now I know that there are many different areas of Marketing and jobs that I would like and like to avoid.

I avoid jobs or companies that:

• Doesn't have a website--- no website, how do I market them or for them?? How do I learn about them? How do I learn about my position!?
• Doesn't have or hard to find Facebook Page. Facebook is one of the key aspects of marketing a company, based on my opinion and my research
• It might not be a big deal but I second guess companies that do not display a photo of their logo on LinkedIn because then I have to search them on my own, which I should do anyways but it helps narrow down the search when there is a "profile picture"
• IMMEDIATE HIRE -this is usually not the best place to look for a job. Companies who post this usually pay based on commission, not salary. I went on an interview once for a company that posted this, needing entry level marketing. What the job entails is standing in different parts of the city trying to introduce a company or fundraiser to people walking in the streets. We were in groups but there was no way I was going to do that for hours in the day to see how many people I could convince to sign up. I went to college and graduated with a degree to find a real full time position in the city, not to stand in the street talking to strangers.
• Companies that have positions that relate to the bullet point above are known as outsourcing. Instead of working within the company or working for companies that help other companies within the company, then they might want you to go door to door for certain jobs. Don't get me wrong, that might be something you are interested in. I am not. I wanted to work inside the company and help inside so that I can help the community outside. But I need to master the company from within first. 
• All positions entry level?? Then how will you grow in the company? I don't want to be entry level material forever!

These are only some of the verbiage you need to watch out for. It is very difficult to obtain a job using LinkedIn and other job sites because can you imagine how many applicants are applying for the same open positions on that exact website as you?! We are swimming in a sea of unemployment! That is one of the reasons why I started to look into Temp agencies. It took me many months to finally interview with temp agencies to receive help in finding a job. These temp agencies have connections with companies looking to hire. So not only was I not be doing all the work in looking for an open position, but they narrow down the companies for me! That is how I obtained my current full time job and that is why I am hopefully becoming a permanent employee because my hours are up! Temp agencies require that you work for a certain amount of hours (in my case it was 500 hours) before the company can actually hire or fire you without paying an extra fee. Now that my 500 hours are up, I am trying to give my company incentives to keep me full time! (It would be nice to have some benefits don't you think!?)

I am currently having a hard time applying for jobs again because I literally HATE writing the cover letter. I know that the cover letter is important and can really help in obtaining a job because some companies were willing to interview me just because I actually submitted a cover letter. But they are tedious and I feel that they are monotonous. I don't like talking about myself that much and it can be really difficult. The cover letter needs to show that you are interested in the company, you are qualified for the open position and that you know about the company you are applying for. It sounds simple but it is very time consuming creating one for every single company I am applying for. So as I try to continue to apply for jobs even with the jobs I have now, I hope to find the motivation to complete my cover letters and explore other opportunities available to me in New York City unless better opportunities are brought to my attention here where I currently work! So here I go again!

(Also, I know I promised a picture of my apartment so I am trying my hardest to get a good one this week!!)

xoxox 

OneSmartLady

    

 

  

No Longer the New Girl

I drink coffee now. It is hard to turn down free coffee when you like drinking it. I never was the type to need to have coffee in the morning. But now I am so tired and I feel I need my coffee!!!

Anyway, this past work week was an improvement. I am currently still not a full time employee and because of that it can be difficult when I want to be taken a little more seriously. It's been almost four months working here now. The holidays have come and gone and now I can feel the tension in the office of deadlines and projects needing to be completed. As a temp, I was under the impression that they were going to hire me after four months of working here. Let's be clear now that this isn't necessary true. After the four months of working as a temp, my temp agency and the company I work for agreed that if they decided to let me go BEFORE the four months were over, the company I work for would have to pay the temp agency a fee but they can keep me as a temp for as long as they want. As a temp, I don't receive any benefits. No paid holidays, no sick days, no paid time off. It's challenging. But, becoming a temp first has given me an idea of what kind of company I want to work for and gives the company an idea of my skills and abilities while at position I applied for.

To try and accelerate my chances of becoming more permanent, I decided to act proactively. In a past internship, I was given the task to sit in on every Wednesday morning meeting and record the topics and discussions from the meeting. Then, I would return to my desk, type up my notes and send the notes to everyone who attended the meeting and those who were not able to attend. This was a great way for the employees to review what was discussed and keep track of the duties that needed to be completed. I also learned more about the company this way and it was also a great way for anyone who was not able to attend to see what was discussed at that meeting. So, I decided that even though this company is much smaller, it would be a great way for any company to review meetings. I reached out to my boss with this idea. She said, "Sure we can give that a shot." A few days and meetings later, nothing happened.This was the opportunity that teachers talk to you about in school. Time to take initiative.

So a few days ago, as my boss and a few others were entering the conference room next to my cubicle, I quickly got out of my seat and walked over to my boss as she was just about to enter the conference room. I asked her if she needed someone to record the meeting. She was a little puzzled but then agreed. I sat in the meeting the entire time, not saying a word unless spoken too. I typed up my notes and sent them to my boss for editing before sending them out to everyone. She emailed me back with an edited copy and was so impressed that she wrote the words "wow" in caps-lock. She was very impressed with my note taking skills even though I am not familiar with the topic. This type of feedback gave me a little more confidence around the office. Now I know that I can ask if the bosses in the office ever need a note taker because I know that my boss, an editor, was impressed with my note taking skills. Another boss from another department mentioned my notes were informative and helpful because she was unable to attend as well so that was also encouraging. 

Today, we had a new girl come take a previous girl's position. She sits right next to me now and looks younger than me. So not only am I no longer the new girl, but I don't think I am the youngest anymore. I began to think of the future and how I may never be the youngest in the office again. I am 23 and with a new class graduating every year, even though I am young, someone will always be younger than me! That's how everyone feels isn't it?! It makes sense now. She better enjoy the baby faze while she can because I lost mine only after 4 months!! On the other end, I feel more knowledgeable because I have been with the company longer. I am more familiar with the employees and already have my way around the office. It will be really interesting now to view her perspective around the new office and relate it to how I was feeling my first few days here.

Since October, I have not been given too much work. I can feel now that there are many assignments and projects that need to be completed soon. It was easy to see there weren't any deadlines before the holidays and that is why it was difficult to find work for me. Now I feel the stress everyone is feeling for the upcoming deadlines. But it is finally nice to know what is going on as I become more and more familiar with the people and the type of work done for this company. I cannot wait for future endeavors and the ability to become permanent! Hopefully soon!! Wish me luck!

xoxxo
OneSmartLady

  

Bring it on 2014

I graduated college in May of 2013.

I bought a one way ticket to New York in June.

In July I flew back to Florida to pack my things and drove from Florida back to New York.

I landed a job in August and then a full time job in October.

I found a place to live in December 2013.

8 months. I accomplished what I thought was too difficult, scary, a dream and impossible in 8 months. I was so afraid to jump-start my life! Nothing, really nothing, should hold you back from your dreams!!! Walking down the streets of NYC reminiscing my journey to this job and the life I have accomplished at this point and I keep thinking, I did it!

I was settled in Florida. Had my immediate family and college friends always with me. I wasn't really sure that I wanted to leave. Deep down in my heart though, I knew it was time to go to New York. My heart was calling for it but my body and anxiety were fighting it. My goal throughout college was to move to New York and find a job once I graduate. When the question, "What are your plans when you graduate?" were always answered by me going to New York. But, the closer my graduation date approached, the more of a dream my goal became rather than a reality because of my anxiety. Some people started moving on, getting married, finding a job, moving back home. Mostly others still have school. Am I ready jump start the reality of growing up?

Of course I was!!! It only took a few weeks but I was fed up with my laziness and tired of my parents talking about going to New York. One day I called my dad saying, "I am going to New York on a one way ticket!" I luckily have the support of my family for making this decision and I also have family already in New York who were more than happy to have me. That is how it all began! I am so blessed.

Looking back over this year, 2013 has so far been my most accomplished year of my life (I am 23 years old. Watch out world!). I live on my own in my own apartment. Crazy!!!!

Actually, not crazy. This is what's supposed to happen, right? Isn't this the goal of every graduating student? Doesn't everyone want to move out and live on their own or with friends away from home and school? In this economy, most of my friends are living back home or are still in school. I only know of a few who are actually away and living on their own. Even my coworker at my current NYC job still lives at home. Living at home has a lot of benefits. Take advantage of what you have at home!! Don't just move out because it is what you think is supposed to happen. Living at home guarantees leftovers from mom's cooking (I am very jealous about not having that anymore!), free laundry and it's comfortable! I am still in the process of putting my apartment together so that I can live more comfortably! I just put together the last few pieces of furniture I ordered and am experimenting with the space I am given in this studio. My Superintendent is a God-send. He has helped me build almost all of my furniture. I am happy to call this place my home and it is already becoming comfortable. I am building a daily routine and everything is falling into place just the way it is supposed to. Pinterest and other DIY's are sites I am constantly browsing to keep my creative mind rolling so I can come up with more ways to brighten and enhance my small living space.There is still much to do with my apartment but I couldn't have asked for a better way to end the year. So bring it on 2014!!

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!!



xoxo
OneSmartLady

   

Move In Day

Moving is one of the most stressful events in a person's life, compared to other life-changing events. Knowing that, I figured using my four day weekend of the Thanksgiving holiday to move would save me some stress. It turned out to not be the best way to end a holiday weekend. I was hoping to sign and move my things into the apartment the Friday after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, everything doesn't plan out the way we all hope. I had move Monday, the weekend AFTER the holiday was over. My reasons for this are the apartment management company is only open Mon-Fri 9-5 which is the time everyone else is working. And of course they were closed for the Friday after Thanksgiving. Because of that, I had to ask off work for the Monday after (I don't get paid sick days yet since I am still a temp). I had my BF with me for only that day so I used him and that time to move my stuff from New Jersey all the way back to Queens. I had to rent a car large enough to transport my mattress. I had to bring my BF to the airport by 6. So this is what my schedule of events ended up looking like for that day:

1. Rented car
2. Withdrew enough money (barely) for management company
3. Signed lease
4. Drove to NJ
5. Packed the car
6. Drove back
7. Unloaded the car
8. Drove BF to the airport
9. Returned the car
10. Headed back to my apartment all alone to my new mess of things all over the place

I  was pretty overwhelmed. I cried the rest of the night for that day. I couldn't stop crying probably because I felt out of control. I  was overwhelmed by all of my belongings in the middle of the room and the fact that I had to then figure everything out alone. A month prior, one of the reasons I almost backed out completely was because I was afraid to be alone. I realized that renting an apartment alone would mean no more college roommate, no more family roommate, no more anyone. Just me. Was I ready to be with just me?? Am I satisfied and happy spending time with just myself? It sounds silly. But there are a lot of insecure people out there. Those who are always in a relationship or always with friends are never really alone. I had to learn to really like being with just me. I grew up with three siblings. I was never alone. When I was younger, I shared my room with my sisters. When I moved into my own room, I was always with the family and never in my room. In college, I always had a roommate. I would have my own room but living in my own space is different. When I lived with a roommate, I always knew someone was home or that I could talk to someone. Is being alone such a bad thing? With technology today, no one is really ever alone. I have my phone on me all the time. I have the computer and soon the television. Books? What is a book??? Just kidding. I actually enjoy reading. The only struggle is actually picking up the book. One of my goals is to have a shelf for just books in my apartment.

So I have been in my apartment for exactly one week today. I put together my bed frame, cleaned the floor, and now need to just put together my desk and buy some furniture. I am also still waiting on the cable and internet people so there isn't much else for me to do but unpack! I am on a great start to a most beautiful "pent house" apartment!!! (I am on the top floor hence the pent house part) also (stay tuned for pictures!!!) I am much more at peace now with everything coming together the way it is. When I keep on progressing, I feel better and continue to accomplish my dreams!!


And here are some silly pictures about moving.